Do you know who you are? If you've read Almost Home, I think you'd agree we are all on a journey each our own with a universal connection. Discovering the magnificence for myself of the unspeakable presence within us takes my breath away. I'm not talking about things you learn but experiencing yourself as that presence.

We all have a story as Prakash tells me which makes me laugh because mine seems not like a story but a novel! My life history is filled with experiences that have tested my faith in every instance. I am truly humbled by the strength God provides to endure the bumps along the path. Before meeting Prakash, faith was all I knew. Through my correspondence with him, I discovered my true essence as the light of Christ and what I was so desperate for; always has and will be with me for eternity.

As a small child age 5 I think; I was in an apartment fire and was not expected to live. The terrible burn I sustained damaged not only my physical appearance but because of being ridiculed about it up until high-school, my self esteem tanked. I went to a seven day boarding school and didn't see my parents very often. It was an excellent school and I'm very grateful for the values taught there but again I felt the pain of separation and as a young girl I thought I must be an awful child because my parents don't want me around. So I chose to do anything that would make others accept me.I became fearful of what others thought of me and was the one who never did anything wrong. This conditioning is why I'm very hard on myself. At a young age I established an identity of pleasing everyone to get the acceptance I was so desperate for. This issue is still a hang-up for me because my intentions are sincere and because my early life experiences were so lonely, I can identify with others hurts and know how isolating and painful experiences can be and I try to ease that burden. Some cannot see that as compassion and view it differently. Why that is I don't know. I care for them anyway.

At the age of 33 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and after going through chemo & radiation, I had a hysterectomy and shortly there after my step father died. Although Ken wasn't my biological father, he is Dad. My natural one had his own issues and was never a part of my life. The bond between Dad and I is so special for me. He's one of my greatest teachers. Although he is physically gone, I feel his presence with me always. Yes there are times I miss him very much but even death cannot destroy that bond. These experiences have shown me how carrying the emotional hurt from childhood to present caught up with me. God blessed me with two beautiful girls before the cancer diagnosis which held heartache also, but God's timing is NEVER off. In my experience, the Serenity Prayer is so meaningful and pops into my head often. Now I know why. That saying TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE is now, today, the only way to be.

So there you have it. A portion of my life story that is not much different from any other human in this world. It's true we all have our own hang-ups and struggles. What's amazing is the grace we receive if we simply ask! It is written that your heavenly father knows all you need before you even realize you need it. If you're asking and not receiving, trust me I know he's got a better plan in store. All of these experiences in life may shape our personalities but do you want to KNOW who you are? Why not find out.